Paison Ke Liye Desi Pati Ne Biwi Ko Randi Bana Diya

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.Cronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread, and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 23, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?”You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more. I wanted to fuck these two beauties blind. And if you don't ask why I'm carrying Viagra on a business trip, I won't ask about those tax deductions of yours.Lacy flipped the phone off and came out to find me across the room and not the slightest bit listening at the door. Ahem. "She'll do it, but she says we have to get $500. Do you have that much on you?"Since I had a feeling that money-talk wasn't going to survive the coming shock, I made a token show of reluctance. "I only have about $200 in cash, but there's an ATM in the lobby. Tell you what. Here's the $200, for good faith. You get your friend up here... what's her name, by the way?" It's Lila," she lied."Great, get Lila up here and, ah, get involved, while I hit the machine for the rest. When I come back I'll expect to find you two naked and going at it. Deal?"She appraised me again. "Deal," she said, taking the bills. She re-dialed and said only, "1411." She clicked off and gave me a quizzical smile, as if wondering what she'd.
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